bloom photography

Monday, August 19, 2013

The First Day Jitters and Convulsions...

Many Moms and Dads have gone before me but today I went where I thought no one had gone before...
The first day of Kindergarten and 1st grade...
 Nothing could have prepared me for the emotions I experienced today.  I gravely underestimated my response to this transition...

1at Day of School at Khabele...


Kai was nervous and a little bit excited.  Jet was very excited and 1% nervous...more because he cant wipe his own bottom.  Haydn and I left them after 30 minutes of families hanging out on the playground and kids getting to hangout...which was such a wonderful opportunity for the kids to get some nerves played out and the parents to scope the perameters to make sure no weirdos were lurking in the forest nearby...seriously though...it was great to start developing a relationship with our children's friends/classmates/families.

Swinging.  A place Kai returns to time and time again...brings out the best in her!

Jet jumping...a great way to start the day...


The parent leave bell went off...Kai teared up...and then Mommy couldn't talk.  Her amazingly intuitive guide (teacher) saw my face and Kai's and gently grabbed her hand and led her to the art easel...Kai's happy place. I walked away with tears rolling down my cheeks.  Jet was with Haydn...holding onto the leg a bit but more because he just doesn't like to be pushed, challenged or asked to get out of bed...(he takes after his mommy).  So he was fine.  Daddy was fine.  Kai was scared. Mommy was a hot mess.  Haydn met me at the car as I was crying uncontrollably...He laughed.  ( I forgave him)  We talked on the way home...He prayed over our children and us.  I calmed down a little and loved him a little more.

The thing is there is no doubt in my mind that Khabele Montessori isn't the perfect place for my children this year...I know without question it was clear this was the path for our family for now...I just had no freaking idea how hard this "letting go" and entrusting your children into the hands of another would be...

I know they are amazing, hilarious, kind, creative, smart and compassionate children, but will others?  What if they are scared? What if their feelings get hurt , because I know they will, and no one is there to comfort them? What if they go poop and there arms aren't long enough to effectively get it all off and there is a lingering stench the rest of the day?? ( guaranteed) All the what ifs...because they are there and they happen all the time...it's just too much to take on...Faith, trust, hope, bravery, kindness, compassion, serving and loving...all those things you have taught them up until now...and continue to...hoping they will remember ... and you just let them go....feeling helpless...like you have abandoned them forever...whew! Heavy stuff...

(Today also happens to be mine and Haydn's 13th wedding anniversary...so we had a very hot and steamy lunch date at Elizabeth Street Cafe... Pho real !)


August 19th, 2000. The day I love this guy the least and the least amount I have ever weighed...


Back to the first day of school...I worried. WAYYYYYYYY too much. We are the first people in the Circle Drive anxiously awaiting our little people to come out...wondering  how the day went...Did they love it? Did they hate it? Were people nice to them? Did they need to go poop? Did a stranger on the playground offer them candy or all the free legos they could want if they just followed them? Did they make a friend? All those things we as parents think about....=)  Jet comes out first and greets us with a big smile...He had a great day filled with lots of stories ( tall tales/fabrications/lies) about Smore's, the class hamster.  He pointed to the 10 other kids in pick-up line and said..."yeah, they are all my friends"..." I made a lot of friends.." ...(and he didn't need to go #2.)  Whew. One down one to go.  Kai came out next looking totally fine.  She hadn't been beat up, shoved in a cubby, stripped of her clothes or given a swirly...all was intact.  She got in the car and as Haydn was buckling her up ... ( yes, we still help buckle them up, judge us silently please )...he asked her if she liked it... Kai said, " I loved it Daddy!".... VICTORY! Those words eased my weary soul.. Oh! ...and the whole trust, faith, bravery thing I teach the kids and maybe the cliche that when you let them go they soar or something...there may be some truth to that...maybe...

They LOVED it!! My worry was in vain... Then I cried tears of Joy all the way to LICK!


LICK ya'll!
Very Sincere,
Tiffany